Cook or Sell Apple?

Was I Half Right? 


I suggested that AAPL team up with FB to buy AOL Time Warner CNN.  However, with a recent article on "The Street" website, my other comment, tongue in cheek,  may be closer to reality.  I suggested that by, 

• Raising debt

• Spending cash (dividends)

• Buying back stock

AAPL may be trying to ward off a hostile takeover.


 Now, with the shares being what they are, and all that money overseas, someone may say, "half a loaf (or 70% of a loaf) is better than none" and buy AAPL.  Then:

• Bring the cash home

• Pay the taxes

• Go on a capital investment spree or

• Go on a profit sharing spree among the buyers

Now, if Chinese FDI experts are reading this, I shall resort to:

The Quotations of Slim Fairview

"Everybody knows what everybody knows."

Sincerest regards, 


Slim 

slimfairview@yahoo.com

NB:   If you find anything I've said to be helpful, please do not hesitate to send me a really tricked-out Mac and to put a few dollars into the envelope along with the thank-you note. Slim

Translation:

LinkedIn Profile

Pack it up and ship it off to me.

Further reading:

Apple + Facebook ought to buy AOL Time Warner CNN

Newton's Apple

Copyright  ©  2013 Slim Fairview

All Rights Reserved

The Pitch: Screenplay: A Guide to Fine Dining

Query:  A Guide to Fine Dining

By Slim Fairview

By Bob Asken

Screenplay: Comedy/Caper

THE PITCH:

The great and wonderful Chef Aurique wants to open his own restaurant and he has a plan.  He will pretend to open his own restaurant where he will launch a new and exciting cuisine hoping to attract the attention of Monsieur Patronat, owner of Chez Palace,, assuming Mons. Patronat will hire him as a chef, thus attracting backers for him to open his own restaurant. He faces only two small obstacles.  He has no money, and, he can’t actually cook.

However, Aurie, as his girlfriend calls him, does have two friends:  Rammy, who owns the hole in the wall Schnitzel Haus in the village, and Ali, who has no visible means of support but does have a sunny and optimistic disposition, to help him.

Through a series of various and temporary Chef jobs which he loses for various reason—one being that he overcooked the Sushi at a Sushi Restaurant—and a few scams, which include posing as a Health Inspector, a Waiter, and a Gourmand, he nearly achieves his dream.

Now, if you have “The Boys” you must have, “The Girls”.

Patty, Aurie’s girlfriend, loves Aurie the way Daisy loves Onslow.

Ali’s girlfriend, Gia, is a Wall Street financial consultant.

Lesje, Rammy’s girlfriend, is a lawyer.

Aside from Patty, the girls wonder if their boyfriends will ever grown up.

At the end, the girls bail the boys out, and make them repay the victims of their well intentioned but misguided efforts.  Except for a few dollars that Aurique had concealed in a hidden compartment of his briefcase:  just enough to finance his next venture.

But can he pull it off?  Can he!  Aurique grabs a large sketch pad and a marker, and with a few bold strokes, reveals the sketch for the sign for his new enterprise.

Chez D’Aurique

Maison de Pouvant être Façonné

Except for a few outside shots, most of the scenes take place in an apartment, an upscale restaurant, or the kitchen of a restaurant.  This, to keep the set costs down.

The final scene is intended to segue into the sequel A Guide to High Fashion—easily timed to coincide with Fashion Week.  This leaves only the third in the trilogy: A Guide to High Finance. By that time, the US economy should have recovered enough to make Finance a hot topic.

The Screenplay:

A Guide to Fine Dining

Thank you for your attention to my query;

Sincerest regards,

Slim

slimfairview@yahoo.com

Contact information on

LinkedIn

Copyright © 2013 Slim Fairview

All rights reserved.

Great Product: Bad Commercial

No one my age could have watched more television than I did.


From before I could sit up on my own, my parents couldn't put me in my crib and expect a moment's peace until I saw the Rival dog food commercial at 11 pm:  "Rival dog food, arf, arf!"

When I could get up and turn on the television myself, I'd watch the test pattern until Modern Farmer came on. Then, Farmer Gray Cartoons.  Although, to be completely honest, someone else did the same thing.  Vive la Google.


As Yogi Berra said, "You can see a lot by just watching."



Now, if you've read this far, you probably don't watch enough television


If you've read this far, you don't watch enough television. A sad indictment.  And, "If it please, my Lord, I shall read the charges before my learned colleague Mr. Horace Rumpole speaks on behalf of the defence. 



The race to the bottom accelerates if you eliminate baggage


Over the years we've watched stimulation take precedence over information.  And we have no one to blame but ourselves.  Or, as my cat, Trygg, says, "There are no unintended consequences, only unwanted consequences." From the Quotations of Slim Fairview.


I watched a lot of MTV, when MTV stood for Music Television.  No problem with the sound work. The songs were great. The visuals?  Cut to, cut to, cut to.  There it was:  



The Site Bite


There is the old joke.  "SEX.  Okay, now that I have your attention."  The speaker would then go on to inform the audience.

Now, we grab the attention of the audience, then proceed to distract the audience.  It would seem that Mystique is the technique.

The technical term for it is, "Cut to:"  It is used in the script to describe, well...



A character is setting the dining room table.

Cut to:

Stranger on porch is about to knock on the front door.


We may call this this the Conditioning Force Factor.  The technique is similar to the principle behind Judo.  You use your opponents force against him.  Now, we use it against ourselves.



Case in Point


Watch a home remodel or makeover show.  There we see 5 people with sledge hammers smashing cabinets and walls.  We become increasingly eagre to see the results. Or do we?  At the end of the programme, what do we really see?  Cut to: Cut to: Cut to:

Candlestick, chair leg, Geranium...

Cut to: Cut to: Cut to:

Knob on a stove,  plate on a table, switch plate on the wall...

Cut to: Cut to: Cut to:

And, of course, I must mention the recap. This is where the host does a voice over retelling small, segments of the process while the film editor replays the same three scenes of the same five people with sledge hammers, smashing cabinets and walls.



Not a problem?


It is if you advertise on Television.

Beeeeeeeeeeep!

Beep, beep.

Beeeeeeeeeeep!

ZOOOOM!!!!

• EMBRACE THE CHALLENGE

• LIVE THE DREAM 

• SOAR TO NEW HEIGHTS

Of course, if you are targeting the Male Demographic, you get the "hot babe!"  Unless, of course, you 

• Kiss the Prom Queen

• Get punched in the face

• Leave alone

Knavery.  It's what defines us. (It is something you can do in a Yugo.)




Now, if you are targeting the Female Demographic

• Be Empowered

• Be Liberated

• You're going to go a long way, Baby

Anyone smell the scent of a cigarette print ad?


We have now shortened the audience attention span to the point where there is no room for information.



Good Commercial Bad Commercial


There are some potent visuals.  The Giraffe, The Elephant, The Penguins are nice attention grabbers.  The tag line? Well, yes.  It is a residence and not a room.  But the true sell is the fact that I can see that the residence is roomy.  I see lots of space.  Kudos to The Director!

A competitor offers a similar product.  However, they begin with negatives.  Or "negs" as Howard Wolowitz, on The Big Bang Theory, calls them.  We find that "The Room" does not have pictures of my family, or my yoga mat.  However, I do see a man with his face in the Fridge and a woman on the sofa doing stretches.  (Is the product so cramped that she has to do stretches?)  To be honest, I can't remember what "The Room" even looks like.  All I remember is the woman is doing yoga on the couch and not on the floor and a guy with his face in the Fridge.



What to do about it?


As my wife has said, "Doesn't anyone from the company watch the commercials before they put them on television?"


From the Quotations of Slim Fairview. "No one agrees with somebody else's opinion. Only his own opinion expressed by somebody else." ~ My Dad.




Cut to:  

 
Your Client's Office.  "Maybe Slim is right.  Maybe we should watch the commercials before we put them on television."


Sincerest regards,


Slim


Further reading: Mad Men: Ad Men or Sad Men? 

http://sidestreetjournal.blogspot.com/2013/03/mad-men-ad-men-or-sad-men.html


NB

If you find anything here to be helpful, please do not hesitate to send me a really tricked-out laptop and to put a few dollars into the envelope along with the thank you note. Slim

My LinkedIn Profile:

www.linkedin.com/in/slimfairview/

Pack it up and ship it off to me.

slimfairview@yahoo.com


Copyright (c) 2013 Slim Fairview
All rights reserved.

Dimon in the Rough: Analyse!

Jibber Jabber



There has been too much jibber-jabber about Jamie Dimon sharing the leadership role.

• This is a grown-up place of employment, not a nursery school.

• We are dealing with grown-ups, not children.

• We are talking about running a very large and successful company, not "Billy won't share the crayons." 

Let's Analyse 


If we bring in someone new, he or she will be:

• Like Jamie Dimon

• Different from Jamie Dimon

If the new person is "Like Jamie Dimon" the person is redundant.

If the new person is Different from Jamie Dimon, we have a new question. 



Is Jamie Dimon good at what he does?


If Jamie Dimon is not good at his job, he should be replaced.
If Jamie Dimon is good at his job, he should not be replaced.


If Jamie Dimon is not good at his job, you don't keep him on sharing his job with someone who is like Jamie Dimon.  

If Jamie Dimon is not good at his job, you don't keep him on with someone who is not like Jamie Dimon because if he is not good at his job you don't keep him on at all.


If Jamie Dimon is good at his job, you don't have Jamie Dimon sharing his job with someone who is not like Jamie Dimon.

If Jamie Dimon is good, you don't need to have him share his job with someone who is like Jamie Dimon.


Why the need for all this Jibber Jabber?

• Keep Jamie Dimon on

• Stop talking jibber jabber

• Let the man go back to work

Sincerest regards,


Slim


Slimfairview@yahoo.com



Copyright (c) 2013 Slim Fairview
All rights reserved

Does the US Have a Strategic Plan?

Does the US Have as Strategy?

I am not talking about a Military Strategy. I am not talking about a Diplomatic Strategy.  I am talking about a strategic plan.  The same plan a business would have if it intended to stay in business.  This, then, begs the question, “Does Europe have a strategy?  Does China?

Bill Clinton had it Half Right

Bill Clinton said, “Government is the store and the American people are the customers.”  Clinton had it half right.  (All right, he had it half wrong.)

Government is the store.  The American people are the owners.  The Government Leaders are the employees.  They work for and with the owners, but they are employees.  They don’t own the store. They only run the store. 

Back to Business

Does the US have a strategic plan?  Well, no. 

The US is experiencing revenue loss, rising expenses, increased competition, loss of market share, internal management problems, yet we have no strategic plan and no indication that anyone cares. 

The unusual factor in all this, where the country differs from a business, is that the owners and the workers are one and the same. 

Some stakeholders have a larger stake in the company.  Some stakeholders put in more sweat-equity. Still, the analogy holds.

The Problems

• We put together a committee to come up with a solution to revenue loss and rising costs

• We tried to create a group insurance plan to cover all the stakeholders.

• We rely on foreign suppliers to cut costs.

• We borrowed money to hoping to have a capital investment plan to increase revenue.

• We have an employee drug-dependency problem and no programme to deal with it.

• The managers are stealing from the company.

• The stakeholders are losing money.

• The company is throwing good money after bad.

However, we are not the only ones.

Does Europe Have a Strategic Plan?

"European Union is less of a Union and more of a Tontine."

“The Last Economy Standing Takes All.” 

Slim Fairview 

The Quotations of Slim Fairview.

• Europe suffered loss of revenue and increased costs of operation.

• Europe laid off workers to cut costs.

• Europe borrowed money to pay workers their severance.

• Europe is borrowing against capital to pay operating costs.

• Europe has no capital investment programme.

• Stakeholders who own a greater share in the company are lending money to the company to pay bills.

• Europe is hiring cheap outside labour to cut operating costs.

• Europe repeats the process.

Does China Have as Strategic Plan?

• China’s stakeholders contribute to a Capital Investment Programme.

• China has a profit sharing programme that gave 40% of its stakeholders a larger share in the company.

• China created an inventory to meet increasing production needs.

• China invested in suppliers who became customers.

• China ignored the advice of others.

• Chinese stakeholders deferred profits to cut costs to become more competitive.

• China does not “invest in” but rather implements technology.

Can we solve our problems?

Well, yes, but....

Sincerest regards,

Slim

slimfairview@yahoo.com

Box 33
Pen Argyl, PA 18072

Copyright © 2013 Bob Asken

All rights reserved.