Barbie Dolls & Self-Esteem
Years ago, a discussion about self-esteem and African
American children was inspired by an experiment. The study focused on young girls and involved
two dolls. The dolls were identical in
every way except colour. In short—a white
doll and a black doll.
When the girls were asked to choose a doll, they routinely
chose the white doll. When asked why, they said she was prettier. That experiment was repeated only a few years
ago—with similar results. Needless to
say, society has not done much to solve the problems caused by racism,
segregation, and discrimination, and poverty.
That discussion morphed into a discussion about young girls
and body image and self-esteem.
The
discussion resulted in three new Barbie® dolls. The original, petite, tall, and
curvy. Petite and tall only serve to
cloud the issue: Original and
Curvy. And those are marketing terms
for what children know. Skinny or fat.
However, for the purposes of this discussion, I will use skinny and
overweight.
Now, if the exploration I am proposing hasn’t been done
already, it should be done and soon.
There will be modifications.
Two groups:
Skinny Girls—group one and Overweight Girls—group two.
Group 1. Group one is
given the choice—skinny doll or overweight doll.
Group 2. Group two is
given the same choice.
A second event takes place concurrently:
Groups 1 & 2 watch a TV programme with Group 1
characters. The same doll choice is
offered.
Groups 1 & 2 watch a TV programme with Group 2
characters. The same doll choice is offered.
Groups 1 & 2 watch a “self-esteem building” programme
for overweight girls. The same doll
choice is offered.
The construction of the testing is done in such a way that
will help to determine which if any is more effective in influencing a positive
body image. The show with group 2
characters. The show that serves to help group 2 girls feel good about
themselves.
However, the problem with self-esteem is more complex. I know because I nearly sunk into
manorexia. This came about when I went
on an extreme diet programme. I was
thrilled with my image—it was then that I was given the nickname, Slim. Then, one day, when I looked closely into the
mirror, I saw that I was losing my hair.
At that point I had to decide: do I want to be a skinny, bald guy or a
fat, hairy guy. Fat and hairy won
out. I stopped dieting.
I still remember pinching my waist and telling my wife, I’ll
go off the diet as soon as I lose this.”
My wife said, “That’s not fat. You’re pinching your skin.”
Now, I was already had exposure to the topic of anorexia
through newspaper articles, magazine articles, Television talk shows. Still, and being a 50+ year old adult, I was
saying the same things that anorexic teens would say. To emphasise my point: I fit into a size medium
Rugby shirt. Not a man’s medium. A
teen-size medium.
Self Esteem
The subject of self-esteem in general was introduced before
I was a teenager. My mother knew a woman
who had a daughter whose boyfriend was purportedly manipulative and
controlling. Twenty years later, I saw the same scenario with the cashier at
the supermarket.
If you think you can learn a lot by talking to people,
you’re wrong. You can only learn a lot
by listening to people. And people like
to talk to me. And I listen. She was in
the same relationship that I’d learned about as a youngster.
Long story short, a few years later, I went into a
convenience store. The cashier was
friendly, smiling, and I was greeted with an exuberant “HI”. You don’t remember me, do you? No, I confessed. I don’t. She told me she was the cashier in the
supermarket from a few years ago. I (Mr.
Smooth) asked. Oh, my God. It’s you. You look so different. What happened?
She had her braces off, got contacts, went to college where
her girlfriends helped to perk up her wardrobe, help her to get a new hair
style, and she’d been transformed. I had
to ask, what happened to your boyfriend?
“I dumped him.”
Enough said? No. Enough said!
Which brings us to Queen Bees and Wannabees. Another
fashionable topic until something else came along.
Two of the worst pieces of advice that Mothers give their
daughters are these:
If you want to have a friend, you have to be a friend.
If you want someone to like you, you have to like them
first.
Youngsters are not fooled.
On the topic of Queen Bees, take the Queen Bee whom I shall call
Regina. This head of a clique has a few
sycophants who lionize her. She is stuck
up, and condescending, patronizing, and rude.
Why do her classmates all want to be her friend?
Well, first of all, she has a life. Perhaps not the best,
but a life nonetheless.
Regina does not have to like others to get them to like
her. Regina does not have to be a friend
to have others wanting to be her friend.
Op. cit. my skinny, bald guy analogy. There was a trigger. What is your daughter’s trigger? It varies
from one to another. The over-riding
concern is “have a life.”
To help a daughter build self-esteem, help her find a
passion that will over-ride other concerns: her weight, becoming friends with
the Queen Bee, becoming obsessed with becoming skinny. Or anorexic. Remember,
not every skinny girl is anorexic. You
can preach to your daughter until you’re blue in the face, it will accomplish
nothing.
However, most of this is for those who specialise in psychology
and the social sciences. The real
ones. Not where some disreputable person
writes a book and becomes an expert by promoting his book He will sell books, the problem will not be
solved. He won’t care. He will have made his
million. He’s gone. Then another shows
up. And the process goes on. But the problem is never solved.
However, for now, go ahead with the doll experiment. Then,
take it from there.
Sincerest regards,
Slim.
Copyright © 2016 Bob Asken
All rights reserved.
