Mad Men: Ad Men or Sad Men

MORE BREAKING! 

This just in. The new Audi Commercial:

Okay, I understand the race car speeding down the street.
I understand the people dashing to get out of the way.
I understand spinning to a stop.
I understand, the car changes into a street-legal Audi.
This, however, is really bad:

An African American Mother Lets her Teenage Daughter Out of the Car at a Sports Game!  Is this the image of an African American mother? Racing with her children in the car?

• First they ruin the potentially great Prom Queen Commercial. 

• Then they refuse to fix it.

• Now they insult African American Women by showing them to be irresponsible.

BREAKING:  The latest insight into the Audi Prom Queen Commercial:  We interrupt this article to bring you this important update.

I've written extensively about the Audi Prom Queen Commercial.  I defined the commercial with this question, "Why would Audi rather scrap a potentially great commercial than fix it?"

The latest insight, as you will see below, pertains to the Response of the Prom Queen to the Kiss from the Kid.  The Kid kisses the Prom Queen, gets punched in the face, and leaves. Alone!  At first there was some confusion over the shot of the Prom Queen.  Now, a new insight in how to ruin a great commercial.

What if the Prom Queen was smiling because her boyfriend was jealous?   

You may now resume reading the article, while I will remain firm in my belief that the Audi People will have the commercial re-shot, properly, with parts two and three to follow before Prom Season closes.  How sad the state of affairs. 

 

What is Happening to the Television Commercial?

I am watching a commercial for a $40,000 Chevy Volt and the husband is taking his wife out for clown food.  In the Audi Commercial, The Kid, drives off with the Prom Queen; but you wouldn't know it because they don't show it.  (The first time I saw it was the last.)  

I posted an article on one, a Tweet on the other. After the Volt article, the commercial never played again. However, it was never replaced.

On the Audi commercial, the commercial was re-shot.  They almost did it right.  First they show the Kid smiling; then they show the prom queen.  She is facing forward, not smiling at The Kid.

Revision: 


Oops!


 
Previously, I wrote that after I tweeted the problem with the Audi commercial, they put the Prom Queen back in the commercial: the Prom Queen is supposed to be smiling at the kid in the Audi. However, the other night my wife pointed out to me that the Prom Queen is not in the car.  She is still at the prom.

Okay: Here goes:



[THIRD REVISION]


The commercial appears to have been pulled from the air. What is the problem?  Are they re-shooting one scene?  The Scene where the Prom Queen is in the car with The Kid?  Did Audi decide to pull a good--potentially great--commercial rather than fix it?  And if they are re-shooting the commercial, wouldn't it be more cost-effective to shoot the second and the third commercial in the series?  Let's get serious.  Ultimately, a 17 year old kid isn't going to buy the Audi.  The parents are.  You need a proper segue into that message.

People don't really need me to fix their commercials.  State Farm fixed the "French Super-Model"--commercial without my help.  The Dishwasher detergent company fixed the "sisters arguing" commercial to make it more appealing.



 
SECOND REVISION:

 
How Audi took a great commercial idea, screwed it up, did a poor job of fixing it, then made it worse fixing that.

Mom puts the boutonniere in the Kids lapel.  "Lot's of people go to the prom alone."
The little sister says, "No they don't."
The Dad tosses the Kid keys to the Audi.
The Kid parks in the Principal's parking spot.
The Kid kisses the Prom Queen.
The Boyfriend goes after the Kid.

CUT TO:

The Prom Queen IN THE AUDI  smiling at the Kid.

CUT TO:

The Kid with the black eye and a smile.

The End


Blunder # 1


 
When I first saw the commercial, Audi showed the version without the Prom Queen at the end. After I blogged about it, they included the prom Queen.

OOPS!

After I saw the version with the Prom Queen,  I said to my wife, "they put the Prom Queen back in, but they have her in the wrong spot.  First we see the Prom Queen, then we see The Kid smiling.  My wife said, "She's not in the car. She is still at the Prom.

 
BLUNDER # 2

 
The Prom Queen is still at the Prom

I Pointed out that blunder.  What did the wizards do?  They added text!

 

BLUNDER # 3

 
The wizards tried to do a cheap fix.  Cheap, tacky, condescending, patronising fix.  They added text at the end.  "Bravery.  It's what defines us."  Try Stupidity.  It's what defines our agency.

Here goes: 

• You can drive to the Prom alone in Yugo, 
• Kiss the Prom Queen, 
• Get punched in the face, 
• Leave alone, 
• Drive off in a YUGO.  

You don't need an $80,000 dollar car to do that.  That screams LOSER!

I will try this again.

(PS. When Mom puts the flower on The Kid's lapel, Lose the Vegetation.)

• Mom puts the boutonniere in the Kids lapel.  "Lot's of people go to the prom alone."
• The little sister says, "No they don't."
• The Dad tosses The Kid the keys to the $80,000.00 Audi.
• The Kid parks in the Principal's parking spot.
• The Kid kisses the Prom Queen.
• The Boyfriend goes after the Kid.

CUT TO:

The Prom Queen IN THE AUDI.  She looks at The Kid. She smiles. She looks ahead and slightly down.  She has a slightly bigger smile.

**********

• Winners drive Audis.
• Winners Driver off with The Prom Queen.
• The Prom Queen is driving off with the winner.

***********

CUT TO:

The Kid with the black eye and a smile.

CUT TO:

TEXT:  To Be Continued......

I'll bet I could transcribe the conversation in the meeting room when The Boss suggested adding text to fix the commercial.  The Cheap way to advertise an $80,000 car.

If you have any  difficulty seeing where this story is going, or how to included grownups--the people who drive $80,000 cars--keep reading.

Some of my favourite commercials are the Geico Commercials.

The Gekko is outstanding. However, that Pig constantly needs to have his sound work redone.  Get another Pig. (Or another sound person.)

GM made the manifest error of removing Facebook from its strategy.  I wrote an article about that.  My satisfaction?  The marketing guy was given the sack.  I wrote about the GM  Commercial where the husband takes his wife out in a $40,000 car...for clown food.  And how they insulted their future market by showing a future customer saying, "Is this where they pour in the electricity?"

Have we forgotten how to make commercials?


New Article:  Great Product: Dumb-Ass Commercial

GM & Facebook

GM Jump Starts the Volt...Sales.

Bill Ackman goes on CNBC to Sell Penney-Stocks

Does JCP know what its logo is?

Sometimes I don't know if it is the advertising department or the marketing department.

JCP & Sheldon Cooper's Big Bang Suit.

Now, what about AAPL + FB buying AOL Time Warner CNN.

 
Is this really necessary to explain? It is not about tech gadgets. It is about business and strategic planning

And the real wizards are fretting over e-commerce putting malls out of business. However, they are doing nothing about it.  

Old Mall, New City

Come on, guys. Get with it.

Warmest regards, 

Slim

NB


If you find anything here to be helpful, please do not hesitate to send me a really tricked-out laptop and to put a few dollars into the envelope along with the thank you note. Slim

slimfairview@yahoo.com

Copyright (c) 2013 Slim Fairview

All rights reserved.

Kerry Talks Diplomacy with Lord Palliser Over Dry Sherry and Biscuits

Interfering with China & Russia Again.  

Secretary Kerry & Turkey & the Middle East.

The Peace between China & Russia? The alternative is a hostile relationship between Russia and China. Not a good thing. We are having enough difficulty navigating the misalliance between China and Japan over islands in the South China Sea.

"Don't ever believe China and Russia will go to war against each other." Ted Kozak. my 7th grade teacher. That was true 48 years ago, it is true today.

"There are no unintended consequences. Only unwanted consequences." Slim Fairview. 

My Power-Point Presentation, the Future of the G 20 in Good times and bad is exactly about how the zero sum game won't work anymore. And the presentations is no longer about the G 20 alone, anymore.

The fallacy is that we are going to interfere in the China-Russian relationship for any positive end.

Our history of diplomacy goes back 237 years--dealing with Europe [read: people like us].

Already Sec. Kerry has taken a hostile position with Turkey and with Egypt. Kerry doesn't have the juice.

Kerry is great for talking diplomacy with Lord Palliser over dry sherry and biscuits.

The Middle East? Not so much.

Regards,

Slim

Also

Our Middle East Muddling

The Business of Wisdom in Global Affairs


Check out my professional profile and connect with me on LinkedIn.

 http://lnkd.in/JwShhq

slimfairview@yahoo.com 

Copyright (c) 2013 Slim Fairview

All rights reserved.

JCP & Sheldon Cooper's Big Bang Suit

I believe I have a handle on the problem at JCP.

In three articles: Your Logo; JCP and 1000 Pennies; and Ackman Selling Penney-Stocks, I've focused on several areas, but not the in-store experience.  I will now amend my grievous omission.

I took a walk into JCP.  

The Experience

I enter the men's department. To my left, I see the shirts.  That I find the colours to be hideous is a personal opinion.  [If sales were up, I would be alone in my opinion.]  The presentation, however, is counter-productive. The shirts are in cubby-holes.  Not only, I can't see the shirts, but to look at them (to see if they are cotton or Polyester) I must hold down one shirt to slide the top shirt out.  They are polyester. Did Mr. Johnson say, "uspcale"? They have shirts with a 17" neck.

I see the ties.  No patterns.  No club ties; no regimental ties; no yellow, paisley power-ties. However, they are shiny.

The suits.  The label says 100% wool.  They don't look like wool. They don't feel like wool.  Did Mr. Johnson say, "upscale"?  However, if we buy into the premise that someone will buy a shirt with a 17" neck, shouldn't there also be suits that look like they will fit a man who wears a shirt with a 17" neck?

Then is see the real problem. The back-story.

I am watching The Big Bang Theory. Dr. Sheldon Cooper (theoretical physicist. To quote Penny, "Boy, I love him, but he is one serious wackadoodle.") must give a speech before receiving an award.  He has stage-fright.  Penny takes him shopping for a new suit to help him build confidence.  He steps out of the dressing room.  The audience laughs.  There is a suit just like that on display at JCP.

A sit-com, sight-gag suit on display at J. C. Penneys.

Perhaps now is the time for Mr. Johnson to revisit the question, "Who does the buying for JCP?" Perhaps the solution is just that simple.

Melissa Lee, a co-anchor on Squawk on the Street, pointed out that Ron Johnson lost $4 Billion dollars since taking over.  $4,000,000,000.

Here is the corporate paradigm:

If Mr. Johnson did nothing and lost $1 Billion dollars, he would have been fired for not doing anything.  Instead, Mr. Johnson does something, loses $4 Billion dollars and has big-time investment fund managers doing commercials to support him on CNBC.

As Melissa Lee pointed out, what they are selling, the shoppers can find anywhere in the mall.

As I pointed out, JCP is not Apple.  

The first three articles on the subject.

Your Logo 7. September 2012 http://sidestreetjournal.blogspot.com/2012/09/your-logo.html 

JCP and 1000 Pennies 12 November 2012 http://sidestreetjournal.blogspot.com/2012/11/jcp-and-1000-pennies.html

Ackman Selling Penney-Stocks 14. November 2012 http://sidestreetjournal.blogspot.com/2012/11/ackman-selling-penney-stocks.html

Warmest regards,

Slim   

slimfairview@yahoo.com

PS. If you find anything here to be helpful, please do not hesitate to send me a really tricked-out Mac and to tuck a few dollars into the envelope along with the thank you note.



[Thanks, Slim. Very helpful. We sent along a little gift for you.]

Look up my address: See below.

www.linkedin.com/in/slimfairview/

Pack it up and ship it off to me, [FedEx]

Copyright (c) 2013  Slim Fairview

All rights reserved

Zen Paradox: Solving the US Fiscal Crisis

The Zen Paradox. 

For example, a box for pieces of string too short to save.  

Another: In the village of whiskers, the barber shaves every man who does not shave himself. Does the barber shave himself?

Why neither The House nor The Senate nor The Democrats nor The Republicans can solve the economic crisis.

First:  Let’s address the Republican complaint of 6 Trillion dollars added to the deficit in 4 years.

$6,000,000,000,000

Second:  We have two solutions.

• Raise taxes (on the top 2% so the wealthy pay a little bit more).
• Cut Spending.

If we try to deal with this over 60 years this is what we get.

$100,000,000,000 per year for 60 years.

We have three options.

• The Republican
• The Democrat
• The Compromise

The Democrats want to raise taxes.

The Republicans want to cut spending

The Compromise is a little of each

From the US Census Web site.

Households: 114,761,359

Population: 313,914,040

If we round of for the purposes of comparison and discussion only

We have 300,000,000 People.  (Three Hundred Million People)

We have 100,000,000 Households.  (One Hundred Million Households)

2% of our population is 6 million people.

2% of our households are 2 million households.

Now let's do some simple arithmetic.

First:  Raise the money through raising taxes.

$100,000,000,000  ÷ 2,000,000 (households) = $50,000 per year per household for 60 years.

If we calculate by people 

$100,000,000,000 ÷  3,000,000 (people) = approximately $30,000 per year per person for 60 years.

Second: Raise the money through budget cuts.

We must cut $100,000,000,000 from the budget per year for 60 years.

Third: The Compromise

Divide the burden in half (for the purposes of comparison and discussion only).

We reduce the budget $50,000,000,000 per year for 60 years.

We raise the taxes on the top 2% an average of $40,000 per year for 60 years.

The Conundrum

In cutting the budget, we must remember that 60 years from now the price of a loaf of bread may double twice.  That should be a big enough hint to those who may have forgotten that we are not allowed to raise Government Spending for 60 years.

The Paradox:

If we cut government spending by that much, our economy will decline.

If we raise taxes by that much, our economy will decline.

If we compromise by that much, our economy will decline.

There is an alternative.

We can grow our way out of the problem.

CI + ED = G

Capital Investment + Economic Development = Growth.

Caveat

Please double check my arithmetic.

Warmest regards,

Slim

Fiscal Crisis Solution Worksheet 

Negotiating the Cliff

slimfairview@yahoo.com

slimviews and thesidestreetjournal are unfunded, unsupported, sometimes unsupportable, non-profit, and--alas--unprofitable web logs by Slim Fairview.

Read my blog today or hear it from experts in a month or two.  Sincerely, Slim

Copyright  © 2013 Slim Fairview.  All rights reserved.