One day Steve Jobs was moping around the house looking all sad and dejected and--well--looking for pity.
After a few heavy sighs, his Dad finally lost patience and said, "What's bothering you, Steve?"
Steve let out a heavy sigh and said, "I want to invent the Apple Computer and change the world of technology."
"Well, why don't you, Steve?"
"It's all your fault."
"How is it my fault?" his Dad asked.
"Because we don't have a garage. Mr. and Mrs. Wozniak have a garage. Why don't we have a garage?"
"Listen to yourself, Steve. Do you hear yourself? Do you even pay attention to some of the things you say?"
"What?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Wozniak have a garage. Why don't you just mope over to Steve's house and you can ask Mr. and Mrs. Wozniak if you and Steve can use their garage?"
"I don't know. I don't like to impose."
"Well, you're starting to get on my nerves. Now buck up and go over to Steve's house and annoy his parents with your existential crisis."
"Existential Crisis?" Steve asked.
"If you don't know what it means, Google it."
"Google hasn't been invented yet. And do you know why? Because Larry Page's parents don't have a garage."
"And Serge Brin's parents don't have a garage either. But the Wozniaks do, now get moving."
Well, Steve Jobs decided to take his Dad's advice and loped over to Steve Wozniak's house to talk about it. But before he left he decided to put on a white turtleneck to make a good impression.
However, his white turtleneck was dirty, so he looked for another one. But they were all balled up and stuffed under his bed. So he grabbed a black turtleneck because he knew it wouldn’t show the dirt, and off he went to the Wozniaks' to talk to his friend Steve.
"What do you think, Steve?"
"Well," Steve Wozniak said, "we'll never accomplish anything sitting around talking about it. Let's go ask my parents."
"You think they'll go for it?"
"Who knows? Besides, the worst that can happen is they'll no. But I don't think that's going to happen. My Dad is getting tired of me cluttering up the dining room table with all my tech stuff. Come on. They're out in the garage right now."
And, out to the garage they went where, quite by coincidence, Mr. and Mrs. Wozniak were having a clear out.
When Mr. Wozniak saw them, he asked, "Did you boys come out to help me and your Mom do a little cleaning up?"
"Well, actually, Dad, Steve and I came out to ask you if we can use the garage to start a business."
"Oh, good grief," his Dad said. "You boys aren't going to start selling drugs, are you?"
"No, Dad."
"I'm not going to have you selling drugs out of my garage."
"Dad, we're not going to sell drugs."
"Oh, good Lord, you're going to start a garage band. I'm not going to have you running a garage band in my garage, so you can just forget it."
"Dad, we're not going to start a garage band and we're not going to sell drugs."
"Then just what is it you boys intend to do? From what I've seen so far, all you two boys can do is make a mess. True, a battery operated mess, but still a mess."
"Well, Steve and I want to start a computer company. Steve and I want to invent the Apple Computer and transform the world of technology."
"A computer company, huh? Well, I guess you can't cause too much trouble with that."
Mr. Wozniak looked at his wife. "What do you think?"
"Well, I do want to call Mrs. Jobs to find out if it's okay with her and Mr. Jobs. Steve, do your parents know you're here? But more important, and not more importantly, do they know what you're up to?"
"Yes, Mrs. Wozniak."
"Okay, if you have your parents' permission then Steve has my permission. Besides, Dear," Mrs. Wozniak said to her husband, "I think it's nice that the boys are taking up a hobby. And they do get along so well."
Mr. Wozniak thought a moment. "Well, I guess it's okay. At least you'll be where your Mom and I can keep an eye on you."
"Gee Dad, that's swell. Thanks a lot."
"Yes, thank you Mr. Wozniak. And thank you Mrs. Wozniak. I promise you, we won't make a big mess and we won't make a lot of noise."
"Just one thing," Mr. Wozniak said. "If you boys want to use the garage, you're going to have to help me and your Mom clean it up first. I want to get this mess cleared out, put things away, put the tools back, and sweep up."
"Wow, this is so neat," Steve Wozniak said.
"Hand me that hammer so I can hang it up on the wall."
"We're going to tech icons."
"Give me the hammer, Steve."
"I can't wait to get started.
"You can't pick up the hammer, can you?"
"That's okay," Mrs. Wozniak said. "You boys are going to change the world."
And that is how AAPL was started.
The moral of the story is simple.
If you want to be a success in the world, you won't let anything stand in your way.
And if you want to be a success in the tech world, go into your parents' garage and invent something.
But if your parents don't have a garage, find a friend whose parents have a garage and ask them if you can use their garage.
Best of luck.
Sincerely,
Slim.
If you find this tale truly inspiring, please don't hesitate to send me a really tricked out Mac Book and to tuck a few dollars into the envelope along with the thank you. Slim.
Thank you.
Sincerest regards,
Slim.
Bob Asken
Box 33
Pen Argyl, PA 18072
The Satire of Slim Fairview
Copyright (c) 2018 Robert Asken
All rights reserved,
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