CNBC: Circa 1862

 

For Those Who Understand Metaphors:

What if the 24 hour news cycle existed in 1864 and Europe watched the American Civil War unfolding before them?

Middle East RSVP

O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us

To see oursels as ithers see us!

It wad frae mony a blunder free us,

An' foolish notion:

As I was gazing into my Liquid Crystal Ball, I had the opportunity to see myself in a previous life.  I am watching television when my programme is interrupted by a special report from Brussels.

The UN Security Council is holding an emergency meeting over the conditions in America.  World Leaders are condemning the atrocities of the Civil War citing over 50,000 dead at Gettysburg and now, after the burning of Atlanta, Sherman’s March to the Sea.

On official said, in exchange for remaining anonymous, “Will we wait until every American has been Shermanised before we take action?”

Recent reports have confirmed that 50,000 American’s died in the three day battle at Gettysburg and almost 9,000 Americans were killed in the burning of Atlanta.

Leaders in England and France have reported that they are already sending warships to the Gulf of Mexico and the Potomac Basin, but claimed this was only to prevent a blockade to prevent the shipment of tobacco and cotton to Europe.  They did, however, admit that they were discussing putting boots on the ground to intervene.

The Russian Ambassador to the UN has stated that he will veto any resolution that involves military intervention.  He went on to issue this statement:  “It took the Americans from 1776 to 1789—thirteen years—to create a constitution.  This is a Civil War, and Europe has no business interfering with American domestic problems.”

The Greek Ambassador to the UN said, “We had a democracy 3,000 years ago.  We may have made some mistakes, but we learned from them.  We will be only too happy to send a delegation to Washington to help the Americans set up a stable democracy.”

The Italian Ambassador to the UN issued a statement saying, “Our government supports the initiative proposed by the Greek government and will be happy to participate.  After all, we had a democracy 2,000 years ago. We too, made a few mistakes, but we also learned from them and want to help protect the American people from this carnage.”

England’s Foreign Minister denied reports that the warships en route to America are carrying cannons to bombard Washington, saying “We are not taking the cannon-fire option off the table.  We are only saying that it is an option that we are prepared to exercise if the carnage in America does not stop.”

The Ambassadors from Spain and Portugal will be arriving in Brussels soon, carrying a joint proposal for a cease-fire but conceded, “There is little hope.”

On a related note,  A statement from Sandringham House:

The King, The Emperor, and The Czar issued the following joint statement.

In fewer than 100 years, Democracy in America has led to this Civil War of horrific proportions. 
An Annus horribilis.  Therefore we are planning to send a delegation to meet with Presidents Lincoln and Davis and with Generals Grant and Lee to discuss the establishment of Monarchy in America.

The nice thing about the Liquid Crystal Ball is that is reveals history as it might have been.  It does not, however, reveal history as it will be.

SANTAYAN “Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.”

SLIM FAIRVIEW “Those who never learned history are doomed—Period!” 

Fin

Warmest regards,

Slim

Bob Asken

Box 33 

Pen Argyl, PA 

18072

LinkedIn Profile

slimfairview@yahoo.com

If you find anything here to be helpful, please don't hesitate to send me a really tricked out Mac Book and to tuck a few dollars into the envelope along with the thank you note.  Slim.

Copyright (c) 2013  Bob Asken:
All Rights Reserved