Consultants: Credentials or Qualifications?

Consultants: Credentials or Qualifications?


Recently, what caught my attention was a discussion about people graduating with MBAs who want to go into consulting. Isn’t consulting a later-in-your-career choice?  Something you do after a few decades of experience?  The way a retired General working for defence contractors after decades of military experience as opposed to a 2^nd Lieutenant graduating from West Point choosing to go into consulting as an alternative to going into the Army?

Case in point:  The GSA did not waste money hiring jugglers and clowns.  The GSA wasted money hiring consultants to teach teamwork and leadership skills by having employees build bicycles.

Why?

Well, what are the deliverables?  The target dates?  The measure of value added?  The argument could be made that we are dealing with intangibles. I will refute that later.


The Back Story:

A few decades ago, I participated in an exercise for a class on teamwork.  The class was broken up into groups of four or five.

The exercise?  You are stranded on an islands with a list of provisions that you are to rank in order of importance.  Then to explain your decisions.  Then to discuss all the decisions to come up with a list.  In addition:  The weather is damp. It will get colder in the night. And we are told that there are no right or wrong answers.  The purpose is to learn to work as a team.

Briefly: a knife, a rope, a gun, a cigarette lighter with no fluid, a bottle of whisky.

I listened. I waited.  I began my list”

1. Cigarette lighter with no fluid.

2. Bottle of whisky—

AHA!!!!!  Whisky does not make you warmer. It only makes you feel warmer because you are losing body heat because alcohol dilates the blood vessels….!

True. But…

1.  That was not my point.

2.  The interrupter did not wait for me to finish speaking

3. The interrupter interrupted to repudiate my point based on an assumption

4.  The interrupter did not ask me why I made the rankings.

 
My Choices:

I was a Boy Scout. It is difficult enough to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together or by using flint and steel with tinder under the best of conditions.  It is damp. It will get cold.  The Whisky burns.  No claim of right or wrong.  Only the failed procedure.  Or is it?

You can figure out most of the above yourself.  The “aha” moment for me was when I realised that the instructions said, “There are no right or wrong answers.”  Yes there are.

Remember, “Who’s to say what’s right or wrong?”  I won’t go there. Why not? Simple.

You make the right choices, you live.

You make the wrong choices, you die!

Simple? 

No.

Simple!


In Business It Is The Same.

Remember Ron Johnson?  CEO at JCP?

Johnson tried to sell, “Everyday Low Pricing.”

Consumers want to buy, “Coupons and Discounts.”

Johnson tried to convince the customers to buy what he wanted to sell instead of selling what the customers wanted to buy.

Now, Bill Ackman, successful investor, has many credentials.  In fact, he has about a billion credentials.  Still, he appears on Mad Money, with Jim Cramer, in an effort to sell Penney-Stocks. I will not belabour the point.

Credentials.

Diet books, get rich quick books, and self help books, do not work.  If they did, then, as a nation, we would all be skinny, rich, and happy.  Instead, as a nation, we are fat, poor, and polarised.

The authors all have credentials.  They all sell books. They are all successful.  Like Bill Ackma, they are successful at being successful.

How many millionaires and billionaires do you know, who became millionaires and billionaires, by reading books written by millionaires and billionaires?  Get the point?


Deliverables:

 
Case 1

“Hello, Bigelow?  Highpower here. Standwell Industries.  The reason why I am calling is because the consulting firm of Seniors and Elder LLC put you down as a reference….”

“Great Job, Highpower.  In 2011, we had 41 incidents.  In 2012, that dropped to 27. And in the first half of this year, only 8.   And production went up 10% in 2012 and 10% in the first half of 2013.”

 
Case 2

“Hello, Downhill?  Highpower here. Standwell Industries. The reason I’m calling is  because the consulting firm of Young, Turk, and Wiseacre put you down as a reference….”

Enough said? 

No.

Enough Said!


If you find anything here to be helpful in terms of marketing your consulting firm, or saving money by rethinking your choices….

Please do not hesitate to send me a really tricked out MacPro and to tuck a few dollars into the envelope along with the thank you note.

 
Warmest regards,

Slim

slimfairview@yahoo.com

LinkedIn Profile:   http://www.linkedin.com/in/slimfairview


Copyright © 2013. Slim Fairview

All rights reserved.

 

The Culture of Bad Management

What is the problem?

Answer:  It starts early.


On 3. February 2011, I wrote "Watching the Process"

http://slimviews.blogspot.com/2011/02/watching-process.html

It answers the question:

Management, Project Management, Process Management, each a process. Can you isolate the moment you realised that?

I was seven years old. 

It really doesn't matter whether you rely on the "Up Series" by British Sociologists of the 1960s or the 16th Century writings of Francis Xavier. It holds true.  

The Winning Team Syndrome

I was in the second grade. We were out in the playground for recess. We were playing kickball.

Recess was unstructured. There was no micromanagement of children then.

The two usual classmates were captains. This was SOP. Then, one day, one of the teams had a co-captain.

 

While some of the other boys in my class complained, 

• “Why do they always get to be captains?”  
• “They always pick their friends." 
• "That’s not fair.” 

I observed the process.

The captains were the natural leaders. This was because they were good at the game and good at picking players.  

(Athletes will routinely hang out with athletes. Question: Are they picking their friends, or good athletes, or both? Answer: both.)

We root for the underdogs; but we want to run with the winners. Good at sports or bad at sports, each of us wants to be on a winning team. [Remember that point.]

If given a choice, a seven year old boy would rather be a  player on the winning team than be the captain of the losing team.

We now had co-captains. I was less concerned with why. I simply wanted to be on a winning team. That was over 50 years ago. I still remember the day.

Gratuitous Management

 

When I was a little older than seven, I participated in Pop Warner Football.  We one quarterback. He had two plays: Two to the left--dive.  Two to the right--dive.  They were running plays.  One, two openings from the center on the left,  the other, two openings from the center on the right.  Simple enough.  There he knelt--cogitating.  He tugged at the grass. He looked  over us at the opposing team as we were in the huddle waiting for the play.  

Finally, "Two to the left--dive."

I don't recall if it worked.  None the less: back  into the huddle. The same scenario replayed.

He tugged at the grass.  He looked over us at the opposing team. He cogitated. 

Finally, "Two to the right--dive."

We teach boys that the simplest of decisions are monumental.  The team  waits upon their every word.  It's Important!


However, this carries into adult life.

I am going to make changes to protect the gratuitous.

Take two jobs:  Sweeping the halls on floor seven. Buffing the halls on floor eight.

The bosses are gone for a conference.  One boss must remain behind.  One worker took the personal initiative to arrange for permission  to buff the floors.  Noisy, heavy, dirty. He cleared it with the bosses.  The equipment will be there.  The morning arrived.

Boss: "What are you guys doing?"
One:  "I'm going to buff the halls on floor eight.
Two:  "I'm going to sweep the halls on floor seven."

Boss:  Cogitating.

Boss, to number one. "Okay, I want you to sweep the halls on floor seven."
Boss, to number two. "Okay, I want you to buff  the halls on floor eight."

Half an hour later,  the two are in the bosses office.  Problem?  Number two doesn't know how to run a buffer.

Boss:  Cogitating.

Boss: to number two:  "Okay, I want you to sweep the halls on floor seven."
Boss: to number one:  "Okay, I want you to buff the halls on floor eight."

If anyone needs further explanation...... Enough said?


The Structure of Failure

Let's take Odious Bilgewater and Offal Dungnoodle.  (If  Charles Dickens can do it with Uriah Heep, Mr. Fezziwig, and Ebeneezer Scrooge,  I can do it too.)

Mr. Odious Bilgewater promotes Offal Dungnoodle.  Offal is now, the Captain of the Team.  He is the Winning Captain.  Mr. Bilgewater declared Dungnoodle to be the winner when he declared Dungnoodle to be the Captain.  However, Mr. Dungnoodle is not competent.  More on that, later.

Some people want to be on Mr. Dungnoodle's Team.  Why?  Some are incompetent. Some are shrewd.

Some people do not want to be on Dungnoodle's team.  Why?  They don't want to be part of a failure.  They don't want to be blamed for the failure. 

How did Mr. Dungnoodle manage the promotion?  Easy.  Mr. Bilgewater wants someone like himself. 

Why do people want to be on Odious Dungnoodle's Team?  This is how Mr. Odious Dungnoodle got his promotion.

• Odious wants people who obey orders
• Odious wants credit for success
• Odious wants scapegoats for failure
• Odious knows how to set up a scapegoat
• Odious knows how to credit his team for his success
• Odious knows all the clichés, slogans, and platitudes of  "leadership"

Why do people go along with this?

• Odious is the boss
• Odious has Mr.Bilgewater's support
• This is the path of least resistance
• They want to be on the winning team

You will  never change the system, the culture,the paradigm by sending employee's to team building seminars, group dynamics seminars, anger management seminars, or any other programmes.  You will never solve your bad management culture problem until you fire Odious Bilgewater and Offal Dungnoodle.

Still, this begs the question: 

Bad Leaders or Bad Consultants?




However, from The Quotations of Slim Fairview © 2012  

• "You can't lead if you can't manage."
• "Look behind you. If people are following you, you're a leader. If they're not, you're not."
• "Leaders are defined by their followers."
• "In times of a crisis, people will follow their leader. Not their boss."

Must Read:

You Can't Lead If You Can't Manage. 





You Can't Lead If You Can't Manage 2.0




Warmest Regards,

Slim 

slimfairview@yahoo.com

If you find anything here to be helpful, please do not hesitate to send me a really tricked-out Mac Book and to tuck a few dollars. into the envelope along with the thank you note. 

Bob Asken
Box 33 
Pen Argyl, PA 18072

LinkedIn Profile


Copyright  © 2013 Slim Fairview
All rights reserved.